"You'll never know till you try".

Leevend

    A gamble...that's the first thing that pops in my mind when I hear this phrase. Numerous times have I heard this phrase till I can't get it out. Traumatic it was, exciting it is, unpredictable it will be.

A journey,

To a faraway land,

An asphalt path,

bifurcating at some point,

A choice has to be made.

To try or not to try; that is the question.

Life is like a roulette,                                           A thick cloud of mist; a diverged path is found,

The betting begins,                                              The path behind shadowed by darkness,

One number; many possibilities,                          One target; infinite destinations,                    

Take a leap of faith; choose a number,                 Believe; choose a path; march forward,

Wheel starts spinning,                                         The mist slowly subsides,

Ball stops; a number shown,                               The path ahead eventually unfolds.

To lose money; but not to regret,                        A dead end, but no worries.
To reflect on the croupier's spinning style,           To reflect on the journey and the surroundings,
To learn about the game,                                   Only to gain this priceless artifact of life; experience,
A better gamble next,                                        A better path next,
Factored not by luck, but by thought.                Factored not by coincidence, but by knowledge and instinct.

Finally, the thick mist has started to subside. Only this time, I see a town ahead. Maybe this is it. Maybe not. Oh well, I've travelled far and wide. Many steps forward I have taken. A couple more ain't gonna hurt. I've got a gut feeling...This is the end of the beginning. Soon, the beginning of the end shall unfold...a new 42 shall await me. Well, no matter the outcome this journey may uncover, if you never try, you'll never know. And I'm glad i tried.

Au revoir,
I will be back.

Leevend

Leevend

Facebook...A book that has a face in it?... Or is it a face that tells a book?

Well, either way, most of us know that this 'Facebook' has begun a revolution in mankind's social life. So before we touch the leaves of this revolutionary 'plant', I guess we should start by digging out its roots first.

Facebook, or more commonly known as 'fb' (its abbreviation), first implanted its roots into the social networking world in February 2004. Now(roughly 8 years later), it has nested over 800 million active users. Just like other social networking sites, you just gotta sign up by giving a valid email address and entering some personal info about yourself (who cares if ya lie?), and there you go, you're part of this family of 800+ million people worldwide! Yep, sounds pretty viral to me. The previous site I recalled being a hit was Friendster but that site has pretty much died off, or at least, so I've heard. Well, every technology has its golden age, and so will it apply to Facebook as well.

Well,  forget about how long more before its gone. How did it even got popular in the very first place? At that particular period of time where Facebook rose from the bottom, social networking giants such as Friendster, Myspace and LinkedIn dominated its market. It truly is intriguing; Facebook's journey to the top. I've been a Facebook user since early 2009, but I've never really used it much since I was more focused on Friendster instead.

For those who have used Friendster before, I'm pretty sure you'll realized by now that Facebook is inferior to Friendster when it comes to profile background and layout. Customizations for the following parts are allowed for the latter but not for the current social networking giant, or at least, not that I've heard of. Despite that, Facebook beaten the odds and came out with quite an impressive lead over the others. Some say this is due to its vast variety of applications, better game quality, its ability to create many types of groups depending on situations and interests such as anime fan groups and so on. Well, maybe all of them are true, maybe some, or maybe none itself. Maybe it was just plain luck that Mark Zuckerberg bummed into some leprechaun's pot of gold under a rainbow and hit the jackpot. Well, whatever the case is, nothing changes the fact that Facebook's influenced the lives of many, if not all, of its Facebook users; some even claiming that they were born to 'facebook' with people.

Well, to me, Facebook played quite a role in a particular period of time of my life; to be specific, my final years of high school. I was a shy (not timid though) boy who went into an all-boys school, so you'll might be able to expect the difficulties faced when speaking to the opposite sex, whether it may be in person or online itself. Despite going to a mixed elementary school, puberty just came at the 'perfect timing' and at the perfect place as well. Since then, all those days where I could speak to girls leisurely were numbered. I started losing contacts from my elementary school, and eventually, even some of my really close friends became distant from me. Moreover, being an academic-oriented kind of person, I never really joined extracurricular activities, so I didn't really had opportunities to break loose from my cage of embarassment. Imagine, life of a shy, nerdy boy in an all-boys high school; not a scenario one wants to get involved in.

This continued for about 3 years until I was in Form 4 (16 years old). At this point, I was pretty much tired of studying all the time. I wanted to join activities, not only to be active in other fields, but also to be able to communicate effectively with anyone, everyone or even someone. This time, I had opportunities knocking on my door. I went for extra classes in a tuition centre nearby my high school, not to mention, a mixed class. However, I couldn't muster the courage to randomly speak with strangers from other schools (coming from an all boys school, girls = students from other schools, excluding Form 6 students). I was on the verge of giving up, yet I was really determined to make some progress. I thought about it for a couple of days and that's when the idea of a social networking site hit me. I had Friendster before that, but I hardly used it besides just uploading certain photos of school trips and all. I decided to give Facebook a try. Did I regret doing that? Well, let's just find out.

With the touch of a button( unfortunately, not literally), I signed up for Facebook which is already a step forward in that goal. Now, I had to make my move and if possible, reconcile with some of my former schoolmates. I gave it a shot. Surprisingly, it wasn't as difficult as I imagined it to be. Chatting online seemed to be so much easier since we didn't need to meet with that other someone in person. I kept progressing through this somewhat brief journey.

A year had passed. I felt so much more confident speaking to others now. However, that was just chatting in Facebook and in instant messaging programs such as Windows Live Messenger and Skype. This wasn't enough. I had to do something else. What could I do that could apply these newly acquired skills of mine in person? Where can I apply in the first place? The first place that struck me was my tuition centre. I gave it a thought and decided to go along with it. I remembered thinking for a long time before I actually approach someone from the back and start introducing myself to them. There were plenty of awkward and embarassing moments, but I don't think I've regretted them. Those moments helped me become who I am today, and I'm satisfied with my current self.

Besides giving a small boost to my self-esteem, Facebook was also a starting point where I actually learned about relationships. I would usually see my friends' statuses regarding them. Yep, eventually, my curious and fired-up self found someone special. Naturally, it was someone from my tuition centre, since it was really rare for me to find girls from other schools anywhere else besides tuition. At first, she was very shy and would hang out with her group of friends, and considering the fact that I'm a shy person by nature as well, it took quite a while before we eventually talked and became friends. Since both of us were shy, we hardly talked even if we meet each other in person. Just a simple 'Hi' and 'Bye' or 'Nice weather today, huh'. Besides that, the awkward silence often shadowed our surroundings. Seeing that we both had Facebook, we added each other and started chatting there instead. Quite to my surprise, she was not that shy in Facebook. I guess she might have been just like me. Eventually, we chatted often and became good friends.

However, due to my migration to Canada out of the blue moon, I decided to confess to her before I left. So, in the end, we rushed things a bit and I guess it crumbled..Nevertheless, I don't regret those decisions I made; the decision to speak with someone I like, to often chat with that person, and eventually confessing to that person. Those experience taught me so much about relationships and how we should take things one step at a time despite life's brief candle. All I hope for is that the other person feels the same way and moves on, living a happier life than before.

To sum it up, Facebook helped me in boosting my self esteem especially when speaking in person to others, and also taught me a thing or two about relationships. It might have not entirely played the climax of those scenarios, but it really proved to be quite the pivot points. Thus, I hope others will also benefit from its use and not abuse it for some other purpose like destructive spamming (Peeps, please stop spamming me with Cityville requests. I don't play anymore =P) Okay, back to that question earlier on, do I regret giving Facebook a try? Not at all (maybe except for those procrastination moments it caused me). So, thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. Despite all those criticisms about you, I guess I owe you one.

Peace out and have a nice day, peeps =D

2012...the year most, if not all, people have been waiting for...the year involving an interesting prophecy; apocalypse. Well, don't take it too seriously; it's a prophecy, not a fact.

Yes, that means Au Revoir, 2011. It's been a tough and challenging year, whether it may be to most individuals, or to the world itself. The Tohoku earthquake and tsunami of magnitude 9.0 which hit East Japan claimed the lives of almost 20,000 people. Over 4 million households left without electricity..not to mention the costs needed to just normalize the global market conditions totalling approximately US$183 billion. In general, about 2401 earthquakes shook the world last year..Moreover, a number of people who got the media's attention for quite some time passed away. Just to name a few, Osama bin Laden (well, not really much proof since his body wasn't shown), Steve Jobs, Gaddafi and Kim Jong-il.

Besides that, I guess 2011 will be quite a chapter in my life although 2010 took most of the spotlight for me because it was when I had my first 24 hour flight to the other side of the world, Canada. 2011...finally, my last year of high school! Despite not mixing around much during high school in Canada, it was really a worthwhile learning experience as I got to learn about the education system in Canada and the perspectives and mindsets of Torontonians.

March was quite a hectic month. It was the time to hand in university applications and academic resumes. Naturally, there were a couple of problems in applying for universities because of our status as new immigrants. We were allowed a minimum of 3 universities of our choice to apply to. Seeing that I didn't know much about universities here, I tried applying to those that people have talked about often. So, I chose UofT, University of Waterloo and Ryerson University. Parents didn't approve of me living in residence or somewhere outside downtown, so my choices were pretty confined. Besides university applications, I had a lost a very important person in my life. My grandmother. I remember the days where she used to cook for us her signature chicken curry during Deepavali. Wished I could see her one last time.. Now, there isn't a hometown to go back to because home is where the heart is..Rest in peace, Mama..

Time flies and before I knew it, June arrived. It was the final month of high school. It also meant a month more before summer break started. I was looking forward to finally return to my home country and meet as many people as I can. In the midst of my finals, I got a telephone call from my dad. Another important part of my life died. The one who eventually got rid of my fear of dogs and sometimes was the only one who I felt understood me; my dog, Mickey. In this journey of mine so far, I think this was one of the deepest pits I've been to..We've had him for almost 9-10 years. In the past, I'd use to run from him as he chased after me at home. Once I started feeding him, we got along pretty well and he became a good buddy of mine. When I had a sad face on, he would lie on the floor and showed one too. He really knew how to make my day. Truly irreplaceable..Despite just a week or two before I'd see him again, he's gone and there won't be that chance anymore. This incident truly struck me that no amount of time is little and we should cherish the experience we have with anyone.

June was done with and July was here. Finally, second touchdown at Malaysia. One could feel the sudden change in pressure by just exiting the airplane into the tunnel connecting it and the airport itself. Exiting the airport and breathing in the air I once used to breathe, I truly felt I was back home. But it felt different. That's when I was struck with an epiphany. The place looks the same. But I've changed. My perception about life and the environment around me is broader and different now. That's when I strongly believed that life is change and we shouldn't resist it. The change may be for the better or for the worse but in the course of history, mankind has withstood change and adapted to it. Thus, we should not regret the change but instead, embrace it and use it to our advantage.

The 2 month trip back to Malaysia was short-lived. Time flies. My family and I visited as many places as we can despite my dad's hectic schedule. We had planned to go for a vacation in Thailand like the good old times but there wasn't much time, so we satisfied ourselves with a one night stay at Genting Highlands. I didn't had the opportunity to enter the outdoor theme park cause we arrived there late evening. So, there wasn't much to it except that I tried a chocolate fountain for the first time. It was thick and really sweet. The flow of the chocolate liquid from the top to the bottom of the glass fountain was exquisite. Besides the Genting trip, I went around visiting my relatives and hang out with friends. It was really nice to see them again. We watched Transformers:Dark of the Moon and some other movie of which its title I can't recall. Then, there was pooling at Sunway Pyramid and jalan-jalan cari makan. I'm looking forward to having more mamak moments with them again.

Besides having fun in Malaysia, there were some stressful times like which university was going to accept me! I received an offer of admission from both Ryerson and Waterloo quite early, but my third choice, UofT, had not replied. I was prepared to take Waterloo because they offered an interesting co-op program which starts in the second year. Somehow, I wasn't too interested in UofT because I've heard that it was really tough and competitive to get in. Moreover, I didn't want my university life to be filled with assignments, labs and tests as well! So, I made UofT my last choice. 5 days before the deadline of choosing one of our offer of admissions, I still had not received an answer from UofT. I was prepared to give up on UofT. At that very night, I checked once again. Guess what? Yep, I got an offer of admission from UofT. They offered me a scholarship as well. I took the liberty of using the remaining four days to choose between Waterloo and UofT. With a bit of motivation from my parents and their insistence that I not live in residence, I chose UofT. I realized that if I didn't push myself to the limit, I guess I'd never know how far I can soar in the sky. I hope I didn't regret my decision.

Summer break ended pretty quick. The door to a new world of possibilities is about to open. The University of Toronto, one of the top universities in Canada. Not only did I got into a university, I got into a prestigious one as well. It's like dreaming of having an apple pie, and getting one with a scoop of ice cream and whipped cream on it. A real dream come true. Just like any other university, UofT had their very own F!rosh week as well. Unfortunately, I came back a little too late so I couldn't participate in it. Despite that, I managed to make many new friends during each discipline's very own departmental lunch. The rumours were true. Chemical engineering is the only engineering discipline which has quite a balanced ratio of boys and girls =P. Nevertheless, the pizza and the company was awesome.

Classes began on the next day. I realized university ain't as intimidating as it seems. One of the courses that I find quite amusing is Engineering Strategies and Practice. Finally, a course that is marked subjective to one's perspectives. Just give a really good idea and hope that the teaching assistant (TA) thinks in the same wavelength as you. Sounds fun. Besides that, the other courses were just the usual. Despite the hectic engineering schedule, university life seemed to be pretty fun. There are big challenges which I guess makes life less boring and more worthwhile.

Anyways, forget about academics. It's what you make out of the university experience that really counts. Yep, extracurricular activities. There were so many clubs and societies around till I really couldn't decide. However, one day, a friend of mine told me about this club called Toastmasters. It's a club where every member speaks in front of other members in a semi-formal meeting style. I found it quite intriguing, so I decided to attend the open house to see how it's really like. One word...Speechless. I was amazed at their fluency and confidence portrayed when they speak in front of a crowd of at least 200 people. And to top it off, they shared their life story about them having extreme stagefright and could hardly speak in front of a class in the past. I was amazed at their determination to never give up and always force oneself to be out of one's comfort zones so that one could improve. Without further ado, I signed up for the club and aspired to be as good a speaker as they are someday. So far, I don't think I have regretted my decision of joining the club and I feel that now, I gained a bit of confidence to speak in public. It might be a small growth now, but 'a little goes a long way'.

Hm...what else is there about university besides academics and extracurricular activities? Friends, of course. I've met a bunch of friends after coming here. I was more of an introvert so I'm not really good in mixing around. Nevertheless, it didn't take me a long time before I found a couple of good friends that I feel I will share a strong friendship with for a long time. The first I met was Yadev. He's a Sri Lankan who's been here for about 4 years. He's quite a friendly person and is someone one can rely on in times of need. Then, I met a guy called Naveen. He happens to be from the same home country as me. I still remember meeting him in the departmental lunch when I heard words like 'la' and 'ah' which happen to be part of the Malaysian slang. He's an honest and kind friend who seems loyal to friendships. Then, on one calculus tutorial day, I met Phairyn. At first, I thought he was an introvert as well. Then, he began to speak Mandarin to his Chinese friends. However, his skin tone is similar to that of Malays or South American. That's when I thought he's most likely from the same country as me because Malaysia is popular for being very multicultural. It turns out I was right. I met him quite some time after classes start but we got along easily. He's the kind of person who knows how to set the mood in parties and all, and he is also considerate. Surprisingly, he likes to play sports, but not take a walk . Besides that, I also met another friend by the name of Deepa. If I recall correctly, I first met her on the way to class with Phairyn in the Sandford Fleming building. She happens to be a friend of Phairyn and that's how he intro her. She's an honest(well, most of the time) and kind friend who seems quite outgoing as well. Not to mention, she's also a sadist (your best friend agrees as well). So, the three of us or occasionally, the five of us including Yadev and Deepa would walk back after classes and hang out once in a while. We'd play squash once in a while during long breaks and I'm still waiting for another match with one of them ( you know who you are, I doubt you have blogger though ).

December, finals. One word...diabolical. Okay, I guess we can spare the details for some other time or never. Yes, what we're looking forward to is the winter break! This time, my elder brother and I didn't go back to Malaysia although my mum and younger brother did. It's a chance of a lifetime...to be independent, of course. Not to mention, being able to enjoy the freedom of staying up late and hanging around outside till the next morning. We didn't go anywhere much so we decided to take this opportunity and learn to cook better (although I have to say my elder brother is doing 90% of the cooking). Besides that, I got to play pool and have a bite with a bunch of my high school friends like Raj, Advait, Selim, and Benzir.  It was great seeing them again after everyone went to different universities or moved elsewhere.

31st December 2011. 11:40pm. My high school friends and I went to Nathan Phillips Square to join in the celebrations and welcome 2012 together. The screams of everyone around us, the streets filled with people, an open concert held by CityTV, and a 2-minute long firework presentation above the City Hall was pretty remarkable. I guess the highlight of the event would be spending that moment with friends. After the countdown was done, we took a walk towards the harbourfront because that seemed like the only route which was possible to walk along (the other routes were so congested with people, it might take an hour to get out of the crowd). Eventually, we arrived at harbourfront and chilled around the area for a bit. A friend of ours by the name of Raj got left behind in the crowd and they decided to meet him at Chinatown and have some drinks. Yep, being an 18 year old now, I wonder why must the legal age to drink alcohol be 19 and not 18? Oh well. Despite missing the alcohol feast with them, I sticked around in harbourfront for a little while and met up with Deepa. We walked around harbourfront in circles for about three times, then headed for Eaton Centre to see whether the place was open to chill around. Unfortunately, we were let down. So, we kept walking around downtown and occasionally, walked along the same road again. By 2am, we met up with Selim and my bro and continued the journey around downtown. If I recalled correctly, we kept walking till 6am! Yep, spending the New Year's by walking along the somewhat empty Toronto streets was pretty cool.

O.o, looks like I wrote a bit too much. Well, in short, 2011 was quite a significant chapter in my life, or at least, a little more significant than the previous years. I've finally completed the first semester of first year university and made some pretty awesome friends. Now, I'm sure I didn't regret my decision of going into UofT. I don't really have any New Year resolutions but I believe we should all live life like there's no tomorrow and don't make resolutions that you're not confident on keeping. Do not cling to the past nor think too much about the future. Live the present like it's the last gift you'd ever be blessed with. Happy New Year 2012 everyone and have a wonderful and awesome year ahead! =)