Sunday 21 October 2012

-Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm-

~Winston Churchill~

They always say life is full of ups and downs, like an irregular sinusoidal function. Sometimes, I really do wonder about the truth of that statement. Nevertheless, reality is harsh, so we just have to suck it up and repeating the cycle of falling and rising. Ever since that day 3 years back, thanks to Churchill's quote, I convinced myself that once I'm in, I'll never run away. It really brings back memories, that day..when I first decided to pursue engineering. Since then, there's been few ups and many downs. Nevertheless, the only way through was to suck it up and convince ourselves that those few ups are worth the fall. 

When I look back at all those less successful moments, I just can't help but wonder...how did I do that? Like seriously? Just reminiscing those moments feels like a pie being thrown to your face.

  A facepalm in disguise


 You just stone there; your brain unable to process anything before resuming the reaction you would naturally give like "what the **** just happened?"

Recently, I once again experienced it; that huge facepalm in disguise. A midterm. Economics. 'Wow...that's it?' You might be asking. Sometimes, it doesn't matter how failure comes to you. A whooping 18%. Wow...it's been a while since I got that...wait a sec, 18%? *Five minutes into stoning at the laptop screen*  What was that? It's those moments where your brain goes blank, everything goes pitch black, silent. You can't see, hear, nor think of anything. An empty dimension. Once I regained my senses, it didn't took long before my brain lost interest in what I was doing; studying. Not a very pleasant thing to experience on a Saturday morning when you have two university-level midterms coming at you the coming Monday and Tuesday. 

So, I stopped studying for an hour, two hours, 3 hours. I just wanted to clear my head for a bit and asked myself that one question I asked myself once before, "Why did I chose engineering?" No answer. While tuning my brain to different frequencies to listen to different channels of my mind, the background abruptly turned all white. Somewhere in the background stood a table, and a chair with a plumpish figure sitting on it. I approached the table and saw Mr. Churchill, enjoying his scrumptious-looking cream pie. Suddenly, a chair stood next to me, facing opposite him. I decided to have a seat and stare at him digging into his feast like a lion that hasn't ate meat for a decade. With specks of cream all over his face, he looked up to me and said three words; Suck It Up.

Just hearing those three words was more than what I was looking. Human beings go through obstacles all the time. The harsher the fall, the better we learn. I got up from bed, and looked at my laptop, at the 100 pages of process engineering texts I'll be reading. Haha, after what I've been through...that's it? Bring it. 


Thursday 30 August 2012

Summer memories

Finally, the Autumn chills make their presence, marking the coming end of summer. It has been a worthwhile 4 month break indeed. For once, I've completed most of the stuff in my to-do list. In short, here's some things checked out from the list.

1) finish my CC#2 Toastmasters speech
  •   I've been in this club for about a year now, but I've learned quite a lot. The experienced speakers in the club are all friendly and helpful so it really builds a conducive environment to improving one's communication skills. I've always been one who's close to having a nervous breakdown when asked to give a speech in front of an audience, so this club propelled me to a new confidence and opened my eyes to a world with way more opportunities.
     
The one I go to 
(http://toastmasters.skule.ca/)

*Just a heads up, Toastmasters is not a breakfast making club. It's an international organization where one can improve his/her communication and leadership skills through various activities(presentations, speeches, debates, and many more).

2)  visit the Land of Opportunities and the Big Apple
  •  Well, not that I've always wanted to go there, but since I'm just next door, why not? Took a 4 day tour to Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Washington, Baltimore and Pennsylvania. Visited places like Harvard, MIT, Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, Rockefeller Centre and a few more. Overall, the trip felt like a week. We were in the bus most of the time considering the long journey between the cities.
Harvard's Big Library (forgot what it's called =P)

The First Amendment at Washington

The former World Trade Centre, making it way to the top once more


 3) read at least a book till the end
  • Never liked books, maybe never will. I'd either space out or sleep before finishing a book. So, I'd decided to give it another shot. Went through my dad's collection of books and some caught my eye. One of it was about palmistry(the art of reading one's palm and making objective remarks or predictions), another about numerology and astrology, and a book called 'Rich Dad Poor Dad'(challenge accepted from friend).
Interesting book, but more like one to motivate rather than educate
  •  For once, I'd arrived at the conclusion of a book. And not just one, but two (didn't finish Rich Dad Poor Dad). For palmistry, I learned that signs like crosses, stars, grilles, vertical lines and etc. have their unique individual meanings and that we can roughly estimate our predicted age(best not dwell on that, kinda ruins the spontaneity of life). Numerology was pretty straightforward in that our date of birth belongs to a certain star and that star exerts influence onto our personality. Then, there was 'Rich Dad Poor Dad'. My friend who's studying business in college mentioned that most business lecturers recommend reading this book. Knowing that I wasn't one who likes to read books, a deal was made. If I were to finish reading the book within 3 days, he'd buy me lunch for the next week. Just for the fun of it, I took up the challenge. I didn't finish it though, but it still was an interesting read. Not one I would highly recommend, but surely something to keep one occupied for a while.
4) moving in to a new home
  • When I got back to Malaysia at the end of June, little did I realize that I was about to be a labourer, an expensive one at that. Just a week after the touchdown, we got the keys to our new crib and our work began. We bought the house and the furniture lockstock barrreled so there wasn't much room for our old furniture to come in. With a bit of innovation and lots of patience, we managed to get the interior done in a month. Not to mention, we made about 30 rounds to move the furniture from the old to new place. Thankfully, both places were in nearby neighbourhoods.
The dining hall

Part of the garden(used to be a swimming pool)

Front of the house

Main hall


Antique lantern lights


  • The exterior landscape took the other month to complete. Despite being quite a hectic job for 2 months, it sure was a worthwhile experience. After all, nothing beats spending the time with the family while renovating a house, not forgetting the satisfying feeling one gets from seeing a job till its 'Mission Accomplished'!
5) obtain my Malaysian driving license
  • Maneuvering a vehicle ain't my forte, but hey, why not? Did the first half of my lessons a year back, so I was forced to do the other half this break anyway. Never really understood the idea of the clutch, so it was a liberating experience. Fortunately, I didn't really felt left out since I met Vei Sean, an ex high school buddy on the same exam day. Despite failing the highway test the first time, I succeeded on the second one. Well, at least now I need not worry about being asked for a non-existing license while driving on the road. And also, now I finally know how to drive manual on arcades =D.
6) improve physical fitness
  • Well, I guess everyone has this goal. During my 2 months stay in Toronto, I decided to make use of the community gym nearby my apartment. Free membership but limited spot available at one time. Fortunately, I got a spot and decided to visit the gym 2-3 times a week. I guess the rumours were true. The first or second visit is usually the toughest because we're too lazy to get out of our comfort zone. After a couple of visits, it really felt nice to go there and break a sweat. At least, I don't feel that much of a walking stick anymore.
7) catching up with latest movies
  • When I got back to Malaysia and started hanging out with my ex high school friends, I realized that I was kinda left out in certain conversations; thanks to 8 months of not keeping up with the latest movies. Due to the tortoise internet provided by my Maxis broadband, I only could keep up with the ones now showing in theatres. Watched a few like the Expendables 2, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen(supposedly British comedy), The Three Stooges(comedy). Have yet to watch Total Recall despite the mixed reviews. All in all, the enjoyable part was having an awesome company to watch the movie with. So, a very special thanks to those who cut some free time to enjoy a movie or two. =D
8) Yumcha sessions
  • Definitely a not-to-be missed in the list. Nothing beats having a cup of teh tarik with a couple of friends and chat about life. So, a special thanks for an awesome time to Edward, Chee Boon, Izzul, Hong Zhang, Ashvind, Chee Hong, Sailendra, and Hema. It's great to hear from you peeps again and to know you all are doing well. All the best in your studies and hope to meet you all soon! However, didn't had the opportunity to meet a certain few. Sorry for being held up. I'll make it up to you peeps soon. =)
9) Food
  • A visit to Malaysia will never be complete without first enjoying Malaysian food. Didn't get to try everything that is to be offered though, but still, something is better than nothing. Had char kuey teow(fried flat noodles), Kampar fish ball noodles, curry wantan mee, nyonya kuih and nasi lemak(fat rice). Just thinking about it makes me drool. Sorry for the very few photos for you peeps to enjoy though. =P
Hainan Chicken Rice At Hoe Kee Restaurant, Jonker Street, Melaka

Bak Kut Teh(Pork Bone Tea) at Klang

Curry laksa...with cockles(kerang)!

Fried pumpkin coated with salted egg(Two Fatty Seafood SS2, PJ)

Roti Canai! (Grand City Restaurant, Section 11, PJ)



10)  Write about a dream
  • Just an idea to improve my writing skills. Had a decent dream a few weeks back about an alternate world. Haven't started writing on the draft yet but the main ideas are there. Will post on the blog once it's done.
11)  Blog about my summer experience
  • I've only started blogging this year thanks to a friend who is an inspiring blogger. Hoping that my blog will be of that level soon may be too much to ask for, but I hope to improve my blogging skills and someday, inspire others to blog just as someone has inspired me to do so. Therefore, feedbacks are very much appreciated.
Well, 4 months sure have gone by quickly and my second year undergrad is about to begin. I shall give it my all and hopefully, achieve much satisfying results than the previous term. Aite, that's all for now. Thanks for reading and I hope you peeps have enjoyed this. All the best to those who're about to start their new academic year. Adios.



Sunday 6 May 2012

Au Revoir, Frosh Year!

Well, a good 8 months has passed. Made many acquaintances from diverse cultural backgrounds with interesting perspectives. Throughout this brief yet insightful experience, there were ups and downs and of course, habits to remove and lessons to learn.

1st lesson; procrastination is directly proportional to amount of stacked assignment. Well, this lesson didn't really apply in high school. Last minute studies were still very much possible during those days. Unfortunately, things don't run the same way in university. The first semester went by in a jiffy. Course load seemed rather light at first glance, but with a little bit of procrastination goes a long way; yep, in stacking assignments and projects. It wasn't too tough though since the first semester was full of theoretical ideas such as linear algebra, calculus and some random thermo concepts. However, I really paid the price for it in the second semester; full of course work, computer programming game project, and design project. Many things needed to be completed in so little time. It is at these moments when we truly learn the value of time and learn to cherish every single moment; in other words, stop procrastinating. That means less Skyrim and hanging out. Well, despite learning this lesson a bit too late, I guess I'll just make use of this in the future.

Hm...lesson 2; make the best out of the present and live for the future. Well, just like most other froshies in university, it was quite a shock when I first saw my final marks for the first semester. However, luckily, it was the winter break so there was plenty of time to chill around. Moreover, I had the opportunity to visit harbourfront quite often with a friend to chat about life which was quite relaxing. Yep, isn't it nice to just forget about the rules of our reality once in a while and break loose by talking about all those 'sensitive' issues such as politics, religion, culture, sexual orientation and so on? After some time, I realized that I have to acknowledge the marks I have obtained and live on, giving it my all to further improve and refrain from obtaining the same grades again.

Besides that, coffee isn't really the best way to stay awake; hot chocolate is! With all those last minute studying going on during the last few weeks of the semesters, one can't help but feast on those 'revitalizing' beverages especially coffee. The question is, does coffee really live up to its expectations? Well, your guess may be as good as mine. Not really. It really depends on one's metabolism. Some mention that coffee helps make them sleep whereas some admit to coffee's caffeine effects. Well, I'm part of the former. Coffee doesn't really work on me besides making me sweat by heating my body up real quick. On the other hand, hot chocolate (specifically 'Tim Hortons' or better known as 'Timmies') did the trick for me. Just an extra large from Tim Hortons for probably $2 kept me going for about 6 hours. A definite must have to give that instant sugar rush despite the lack in quality of the beverage relative to Starbucks or Second Cup.


Yummmm.....
Lesson #4: Best food is mostly out of town! It's the unfortunate truth for you city-dwellers. During my high school days in which my high school is located in the suburbs of Toronto, there were plenty of restaurants or food shops nearby. Despite the vast choices that are available in the vicinity, the quality and the flavour of the food is quite reasonable. On the other hand, throughout this past 8 months going for lectures in a downtown university where Chinatown is just next door, the variety of cuisines available was inversely proportional to the quality and taste of the cuisines. All in all, nothing beats home-cooked meals! (Well, most of the time; especially Malaysian cuisine).

Prawn and beancurd in mixed vegetable broth

To conclude, my frosh year in UofT taught me many lessons of which I couldn't encompass all in this short post of mine. I'm sure if anyone was asked to jot down all their life lessons learned throughout their university life, it would take too many trees to chop to write it out or too much electricity to type it out. So, to those of you who have yet to experience your university days, fret not for that day shall come and you should rejoice the moments you have right now for they come once in a lifetime. After all, May 6th, 2012 occurs only once in your lifetime. As for those who are currently undergoing the tortuous life of university or college, you're not the only lone sheep out there in the wilds. Plenty more share a similar experience so make the best out of those tortuous moments and live them to the fullest. All in all, all the best to everyone in their future undertakings and may you achieve your goal or find a goal if you have yet to have one. Finally, to my Frosh year in UofT 2011-2012, I'm sorry that I have to leave you but thanks a lot for being a great teacher. 

Peace out, peeps.

"Live today with the scars of yesterday and the hopes of tomorrow"

Sunday 5 February 2012



               "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end."

Journey. A year back, I guess I never really understood the meaning of that word. To journey towards a goal, a destination..I've always wondered how it really feels like. The me a year ago...he was probably at the center of a crossroad. Four clear paths to follow, only one to walk on. What criterias should I have to make my decision? What do I really want? Before all that, who am I?

Well, to discover why a plant wilts, we check its leaves. Then, we check the stems, followed by the roots, the soil and so on. The reasoning goes on and probably never will come to an end. I guess it's the same with every individual's life. Behind every character or any change in their personality lies an event that triggered that change or character to evolve. Since I too am an individual, I guess this statement would apply to me too. 

     On August 5th, 2010, for the first time, I left my beloved home country of which I have been         
living in ever since I was born. Off I was to what is now the most educated country in the world,
or at least that's what the modern society presumes; the land of the maple leaves. 

As I walked along the gates towards the Boeing 747 which would soon fly me to the land of 
Oktoberfest, there was only one thing on my mind. Regret. I regretted not completing my 
final school year in Malaysia. I regretted losing those remaining moments with friends I
have been with for the past five years. I regretted not taking a public examination 
which I have been studying hard for for the past five years. Yep, many things I'd regretted.
Despite the food being pretty good and all throughout the flight (assumed to be so by my big bro), it 
tasted bitter for me, just like the bitter memories I mostly carried when I left Malaysia.

After quite a number of glasses of apple juice (I wonder if 20+ glasses is a lot), I began to relax 
and fell into deep thought about the present and future. It was tough to let go of the past, yet
it was necessary, or else..another step forward would've been improbable. A deep breath. 
A long sigh. The worries were almost all gone. Resurrected. Fresh. Those were probably
the best words to describe that moment. 

As I touched down on the neighbouring land of 'The Land Of Opportunities', I felt a new 
hope within me. I felt that I'm starting life all over again, in a world full of new strangers.
At first, it was quite intimidating but the rush of adrenaline really motivated me to give it all I 
got and hope for the best. Despite not having an ambition at that moment, it didn't mean
that I'd have to stop moving forward. So, I decided that I'll keep pushing myself to the limit
for that one year, hoping that soon, I'll realize what I'd like to do or be in the near future.
That was the beginning of my journey, or at least, that I know of.

That one final year in a Canadian high school went by quickly. I've made quite a number
of friends. It wasn't tough to blend in as everyone was friendly and pretty open. Teachers
were sociable and supportive as well, especially two teachers that gave me some support
to always do my best; Ms de Lannoy and Ms Boutilier. Both were my English teachers
for ESLE and ENG4U respectively. Ms. de Lannoy usually gave constructive criticism
and kinda motivated me to think outside the box. Ms. Boutilier further expanded that
idea by introducing interesting principles and beliefs of which I've never heard before in 
the past. I felt that I learned quite a lot during that brief period of time. I probably
wished from the bottom of my heart that I could stay for another year and learn more. But
duty calls. I've gotta graduate and support the family as quick as I can. Au Revoir, Central
Tech. It may have been a short while, but I'll never forget you, nor the people within you
of whom I've learned so much from; not just as a student, but as an individual, and a member 
of today and tomorrow's society. Arigatou Gozaimasu, CTS =)




February 5th, 2012- Wow, time sure flies. It's almost been two years. I'm now studying my first year in Chem Eng at the University of Toronto. Getting into the undergraduate program itself was a blessing and a true honour. My ambition? Well, the program says it all. I hope to learn more about the world of chemistry or perhaps science itself and if permitted, explore the forgotten realms of the ancient art of science; alchemy (yep, blog name's already giving the big hint). For once, I truly believe that one can accomplish anything provided the right amount of effort and passion is given. The path ahead. It may yet to be carved, giving its roughness and toughness. Nevertheless, what's more exciting than walking down a path that will truly be yours, your original? Anyways, that's what I feel at least. No matter what stones, boulders, or thick clouds of mists may appear before me, I hope...nah, I will try my best to overcome them all and and truly take this path as my very own. Destination? Check. Initial starting point? Check. Paths to take? We'll see how it turns out. The future is never certain. As a friend of mine mentioned, "Improbable? Yes. Impossible? Not at all." Nothing is deemed impossible although the probability of its occurrence or success may vary. However, we'll never know till we try. After all, only we can carve our own dreams, and mold them to their desired shape with our very own hands. 

I've started my journey. Taking a step forward by posting this. Leaving footsteps along this path. "Experience is not weighed by how many footsteps one makes; rather, it is determined by the depth of those footsteps." 

It's about time. 

Will you carve your path?

Will you leave your footsteps behind as well?

The choice is yours.

Peace out, peeps. Have a great day ahead.

P.S.-Tomorrow's the last day of the Chinese New Year season. Yep, that means its the Chinese Valentine's Day. Happy Chinese Valentine's Day to everyone regardless of their relationship status. Have a blast with your loved ones and soon-to-be's too. =D




Friday 27 January 2012


"You'll never know till you try".

Leevend

    A gamble...that's the first thing that pops in my mind when I hear this phrase. Numerous times have I heard this phrase till I can't get it out. Traumatic it was, exciting it is, unpredictable it will be.

A journey,
To a faraway land,
An asphalt path,
bifurcating at some point,
A choice has to be made.
To try or not to try; that is the question.

Life is like a roulette,                                           A thick cloud of mist; a diverged path is found,
The betting begins,                                              The path behind shadowed by darkness,
One number; many possibilities,                          One target; infinite destinations,                    
Take a leap of faith; choose a number,                 Believe; choose a path; march forward,
Wheel starts spinning,                                         The mist slowly subsides,
Ball stops; a number shown,                               The path ahead eventually unfolds.
To lose money; but not to regret,                        A dead end, but no worries.
To reflect on the croupier's spinning style,           To reflect on the journey and the surroundings,
To learn about the game,                                   Only to gain this priceless artifact of life; experience,
A better gamble next,                                        A better path next,
Factored not by luck, but by thought.                Factored not by coincidence, but by knowledge and instinct.

Finally, the thick mist has started to subside. Only this time, I see a town ahead. Maybe this is it. Maybe not. Oh well, I've travelled far and wide. Many steps forward I have taken. A couple more ain't gonna hurt. I've got a gut feeling...This is the end of the beginning. Soon, the beginning of the end shall unfold...a new 42 shall await me. Well, no matter the outcome this journey may uncover, if you never try, you'll never know. And I'm glad i tried.

Au revoir,
I will be back.

Leevend
Leevend


Saturday 14 January 2012

Facebook...A book that has a face in it?... Or is it a face that tells a book?

Well, either way, most of us know that this 'Facebook' has begun a revolution in mankind's social life. So before we touch the leaves of this revolutionary 'plant', I guess we should start by digging out its roots first.

Facebook, or more commonly known as 'fb' (its abbreviation), first implanted its roots into the social networking world in February 2004. Now(roughly 8 years later), it has nested over 800 million active users. Just like other social networking sites, you just gotta sign up by giving a valid email address and entering some personal info about yourself (who cares if ya lie?), and there you go, you're part of this family of 800+ million people worldwide! Yep, sounds pretty viral to me. The previous site I recalled being a hit was Friendster but that site has pretty much died off, or at least, so I've heard. Well, every technology has its golden age, and so will it apply to Facebook as well.

Well,  forget about how long more before its gone. How did it even got popular in the very first place? At that particular period of time where Facebook rose from the bottom, social networking giants such as Friendster, Myspace and LinkedIn dominated its market. It truly is intriguing; Facebook's journey to the top. I've been a Facebook user since early 2009, but I've never really used it much since I was more focused on Friendster instead.

For those who have used Friendster before, I'm pretty sure you'll realized by now that Facebook is inferior to Friendster when it comes to profile background and layout. Customizations for the following parts are allowed for the latter but not for the current social networking giant, or at least, not that I've heard of. Despite that, Facebook beaten the odds and came out with quite an impressive lead over the others. Some say this is due to its vast variety of applications, better game quality, its ability to create many types of groups depending on situations and interests such as anime fan groups and so on. Well, maybe all of them are true, maybe some, or maybe none itself. Maybe it was just plain luck that Mark Zuckerberg bummed into some leprechaun's pot of gold under a rainbow and hit the jackpot. Well, whatever the case is, nothing changes the fact that Facebook's influenced the lives of many, if not all, of its Facebook users; some even claiming that they were born to 'facebook' with people.

Well, to me, Facebook played quite a role in a particular period of time of my life; to be specific, my final years of high school. I was a shy (not timid though) boy who went into an all-boys school, so you'll might be able to expect the difficulties faced when speaking to the opposite sex, whether it may be in person or online itself. Despite going to a mixed elementary school, puberty just came at the 'perfect timing' and at the perfect place as well. Since then, all those days where I could speak to girls leisurely were numbered. I started losing contacts from my elementary school, and eventually, even some of my really close friends became distant from me. Moreover, being an academic-oriented kind of person, I never really joined extracurricular activities, so I didn't really had opportunities to break loose from my cage of embarassment. Imagine, life of a shy, nerdy boy in an all-boys high school; not a scenario one wants to get involved in.

This continued for about 3 years until I was in Form 4 (16 years old). At this point, I was pretty much tired of studying all the time. I wanted to join activities, not only to be active in other fields, but also to be able to communicate effectively with anyone, everyone or even someone. This time, I had opportunities knocking on my door. I went for extra classes in a tuition centre nearby my high school, not to mention, a mixed class. However, I couldn't muster the courage to randomly speak with strangers from other schools (coming from an all boys school, girls = students from other schools, excluding Form 6 students). I was on the verge of giving up, yet I was really determined to make some progress. I thought about it for a couple of days and that's when the idea of a social networking site hit me. I had Friendster before that, but I hardly used it besides just uploading certain photos of school trips and all. I decided to give Facebook a try. Did I regret doing that? Well, let's just find out.

With the touch of a button( unfortunately, not literally), I signed up for Facebook which is already a step forward in that goal. Now, I had to make my move and if possible, reconcile with some of my former schoolmates. I gave it a shot. Surprisingly, it wasn't as difficult as I imagined it to be. Chatting online seemed to be so much easier since we didn't need to meet with that other someone in person. I kept progressing through this somewhat brief journey.

A year had passed. I felt so much more confident speaking to others now. However, that was just chatting in Facebook and in instant messaging programs such as Windows Live Messenger and Skype. This wasn't enough. I had to do something else. What could I do that could apply these newly acquired skills of mine in person? Where can I apply in the first place? The first place that struck me was my tuition centre. I gave it a thought and decided to go along with it. I remembered thinking for a long time before I actually approach someone from the back and start introducing myself to them. There were plenty of awkward and embarassing moments, but I don't think I've regretted them. Those moments helped me become who I am today, and I'm satisfied with my current self.

Besides giving a small boost to my self-esteem, Facebook was also a starting point where I actually learned about relationships. I would usually see my friends' statuses regarding them. Yep, eventually, my curious and fired-up self found someone special. Naturally, it was someone from my tuition centre, since it was really rare for me to find girls from other schools anywhere else besides tuition. At first, she was very shy and would hang out with her group of friends, and considering the fact that I'm a shy person by nature as well, it took quite a while before we eventually talked and became friends. Since both of us were shy, we hardly talked even if we meet each other in person. Just a simple 'Hi' and 'Bye' or 'Nice weather today, huh'. Besides that, the awkward silence often shadowed our surroundings. Seeing that we both had Facebook, we added each other and started chatting there instead. Quite to my surprise, she was not that shy in Facebook. I guess she might have been just like me. Eventually, we chatted often and became good friends.

However, due to my migration to Canada out of the blue moon, I decided to confess to her before I left. So, in the end, we rushed things a bit and I guess it crumbled..Nevertheless, I don't regret those decisions I made; the decision to speak with someone I like, to often chat with that person, and eventually confessing to that person. Those experience taught me so much about relationships and how we should take things one step at a time despite life's brief candle. All I hope for is that the other person feels the same way and moves on, living a happier life than before.

To sum it up, Facebook helped me in boosting my self esteem especially when speaking in person to others, and also taught me a thing or two about relationships. It might have not entirely played the climax of those scenarios, but it really proved to be quite the pivot points. Thus, I hope others will also benefit from its use and not abuse it for some other purpose like destructive spamming (Peeps, please stop spamming me with Cityville requests. I don't play anymore =P) Okay, back to that question earlier on, do I regret giving Facebook a try? Not at all (maybe except for those procrastination moments it caused me). So, thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. Despite all those criticisms about you, I guess I owe you one.

Peace out and have a nice day, peeps =D

Friday 6 January 2012

2012...the year most, if not all, people have been waiting for...the year involving an interesting prophecy; apocalypse. Well, don't take it too seriously; it's a prophecy, not a fact.

Yes, that means Au Revoir, 2011. It's been a tough and challenging year, whether it may be to most individuals, or to the world itself. The Tohoku earthquake and tsunami of magnitude 9.0 which hit East Japan claimed the lives of almost 20,000 people. Over 4 million households left without electricity..not to mention the costs needed to just normalize the global market conditions totalling approximately US$183 billion. In general, about 2401 earthquakes shook the world last year..Moreover, a number of people who got the media's attention for quite some time passed away. Just to name a few, Osama bin Laden (well, not really much proof since his body wasn't shown), Steve Jobs, Gaddafi and Kim Jong-il.

Besides that, I guess 2011 will be quite a chapter in my life although 2010 took most of the spotlight for me because it was when I had my first 24 hour flight to the other side of the world, Canada. 2011...finally, my last year of high school! Despite not mixing around much during high school in Canada, it was really a worthwhile learning experience as I got to learn about the education system in Canada and the perspectives and mindsets of Torontonians.

March was quite a hectic month. It was the time to hand in university applications and academic resumes. Naturally, there were a couple of problems in applying for universities because of our status as new immigrants. We were allowed a minimum of 3 universities of our choice to apply to. Seeing that I didn't know much about universities here, I tried applying to those that people have talked about often. So, I chose UofT, University of Waterloo and Ryerson University. Parents didn't approve of me living in residence or somewhere outside downtown, so my choices were pretty confined. Besides university applications, I had a lost a very important person in my life. My grandmother. I remember the days where she used to cook for us her signature chicken curry during Deepavali. Wished I could see her one last time.. Now, there isn't a hometown to go back to because home is where the heart is..Rest in peace, Mama..

Time flies and before I knew it, June arrived. It was the final month of high school. It also meant a month more before summer break started. I was looking forward to finally return to my home country and meet as many people as I can. In the midst of my finals, I got a telephone call from my dad. Another important part of my life died. The one who eventually got rid of my fear of dogs and sometimes was the only one who I felt understood me; my dog, Mickey. In this journey of mine so far, I think this was one of the deepest pits I've been to..We've had him for almost 9-10 years. In the past, I'd use to run from him as he chased after me at home. Once I started feeding him, we got along pretty well and he became a good buddy of mine. When I had a sad face on, he would lie on the floor and showed one too. He really knew how to make my day. Truly irreplaceable..Despite just a week or two before I'd see him again, he's gone and there won't be that chance anymore. This incident truly struck me that no amount of time is little and we should cherish the experience we have with anyone.

June was done with and July was here. Finally, second touchdown at Malaysia. One could feel the sudden change in pressure by just exiting the airplane into the tunnel connecting it and the airport itself. Exiting the airport and breathing in the air I once used to breathe, I truly felt I was back home. But it felt different. That's when I was struck with an epiphany. The place looks the same. But I've changed. My perception about life and the environment around me is broader and different now. That's when I strongly believed that life is change and we shouldn't resist it. The change may be for the better or for the worse but in the course of history, mankind has withstood change and adapted to it. Thus, we should not regret the change but instead, embrace it and use it to our advantage.

The 2 month trip back to Malaysia was short-lived. Time flies. My family and I visited as many places as we can despite my dad's hectic schedule. We had planned to go for a vacation in Thailand like the good old times but there wasn't much time, so we satisfied ourselves with a one night stay at Genting Highlands. I didn't had the opportunity to enter the outdoor theme park cause we arrived there late evening. So, there wasn't much to it except that I tried a chocolate fountain for the first time. It was thick and really sweet. The flow of the chocolate liquid from the top to the bottom of the glass fountain was exquisite. Besides the Genting trip, I went around visiting my relatives and hang out with friends. It was really nice to see them again. We watched Transformers:Dark of the Moon and some other movie of which its title I can't recall. Then, there was pooling at Sunway Pyramid and jalan-jalan cari makan. I'm looking forward to having more mamak moments with them again.

Besides having fun in Malaysia, there were some stressful times like which university was going to accept me! I received an offer of admission from both Ryerson and Waterloo quite early, but my third choice, UofT, had not replied. I was prepared to take Waterloo because they offered an interesting co-op program which starts in the second year. Somehow, I wasn't too interested in UofT because I've heard that it was really tough and competitive to get in. Moreover, I didn't want my university life to be filled with assignments, labs and tests as well! So, I made UofT my last choice. 5 days before the deadline of choosing one of our offer of admissions, I still had not received an answer from UofT. I was prepared to give up on UofT. At that very night, I checked once again. Guess what? Yep, I got an offer of admission from UofT. They offered me a scholarship as well. I took the liberty of using the remaining four days to choose between Waterloo and UofT. With a bit of motivation from my parents and their insistence that I not live in residence, I chose UofT. I realized that if I didn't push myself to the limit, I guess I'd never know how far I can soar in the sky. I hope I didn't regret my decision.

Summer break ended pretty quick. The door to a new world of possibilities is about to open. The University of Toronto, one of the top universities in Canada. Not only did I got into a university, I got into a prestigious one as well. It's like dreaming of having an apple pie, and getting one with a scoop of ice cream and whipped cream on it. A real dream come true. Just like any other university, UofT had their very own F!rosh week as well. Unfortunately, I came back a little too late so I couldn't participate in it. Despite that, I managed to make many new friends during each discipline's very own departmental lunch. The rumours were true. Chemical engineering is the only engineering discipline which has quite a balanced ratio of boys and girls =P. Nevertheless, the pizza and the company was awesome.

Classes began on the next day. I realized university ain't as intimidating as it seems. One of the courses that I find quite amusing is Engineering Strategies and Practice. Finally, a course that is marked subjective to one's perspectives. Just give a really good idea and hope that the teaching assistant (TA) thinks in the same wavelength as you. Sounds fun. Besides that, the other courses were just the usual. Despite the hectic engineering schedule, university life seemed to be pretty fun. There are big challenges which I guess makes life less boring and more worthwhile.

Anyways, forget about academics. It's what you make out of the university experience that really counts. Yep, extracurricular activities. There were so many clubs and societies around till I really couldn't decide. However, one day, a friend of mine told me about this club called Toastmasters. It's a club where every member speaks in front of other members in a semi-formal meeting style. I found it quite intriguing, so I decided to attend the open house to see how it's really like. One word...Speechless. I was amazed at their fluency and confidence portrayed when they speak in front of a crowd of at least 200 people. And to top it off, they shared their life story about them having extreme stagefright and could hardly speak in front of a class in the past. I was amazed at their determination to never give up and always force oneself to be out of one's comfort zones so that one could improve. Without further ado, I signed up for the club and aspired to be as good a speaker as they are someday. So far, I don't think I have regretted my decision of joining the club and I feel that now, I gained a bit of confidence to speak in public. It might be a small growth now, but 'a little goes a long way'.

Hm...what else is there about university besides academics and extracurricular activities? Friends, of course. I've met a bunch of friends after coming here. I was more of an introvert so I'm not really good in mixing around. Nevertheless, it didn't take me a long time before I found a couple of good friends that I feel I will share a strong friendship with for a long time. The first I met was Yadev. He's a Sri Lankan who's been here for about 4 years. He's quite a friendly person and is someone one can rely on in times of need. Then, I met a guy called Naveen. He happens to be from the same home country as me. I still remember meeting him in the departmental lunch when I heard words like 'la' and 'ah' which happen to be part of the Malaysian slang. He's an honest and kind friend who seems loyal to friendships. Then, on one calculus tutorial day, I met Phairyn. At first, I thought he was an introvert as well. Then, he began to speak Mandarin to his Chinese friends. However, his skin tone is similar to that of Malays or South American. That's when I thought he's most likely from the same country as me because Malaysia is popular for being very multicultural. It turns out I was right. I met him quite some time after classes start but we got along easily. He's the kind of person who knows how to set the mood in parties and all, and he is also considerate. Surprisingly, he likes to play sports, but not take a walk . Besides that, I also met another friend by the name of Deepa. If I recall correctly, I first met her on the way to class with Phairyn in the Sandford Fleming building. She happens to be a friend of Phairyn and that's how he intro her. She's an honest(well, most of the time) and kind friend who seems quite outgoing as well. Not to mention, she's also a sadist (your best friend agrees as well). So, the three of us or occasionally, the five of us including Yadev and Deepa would walk back after classes and hang out once in a while. We'd play squash once in a while during long breaks and I'm still waiting for another match with one of them ( you know who you are, I doubt you have blogger though ).

December, finals. One word...diabolical. Okay, I guess we can spare the details for some other time or never. Yes, what we're looking forward to is the winter break! This time, my elder brother and I didn't go back to Malaysia although my mum and younger brother did. It's a chance of a lifetime...to be independent, of course. Not to mention, being able to enjoy the freedom of staying up late and hanging around outside till the next morning. We didn't go anywhere much so we decided to take this opportunity and learn to cook better (although I have to say my elder brother is doing 90% of the cooking). Besides that, I got to play pool and have a bite with a bunch of my high school friends like Raj, Advait, Selim, and Benzir.  It was great seeing them again after everyone went to different universities or moved elsewhere.

31st December 2011. 11:40pm. My high school friends and I went to Nathan Phillips Square to join in the celebrations and welcome 2012 together. The screams of everyone around us, the streets filled with people, an open concert held by CityTV, and a 2-minute long firework presentation above the City Hall was pretty remarkable. I guess the highlight of the event would be spending that moment with friends. After the countdown was done, we took a walk towards the harbourfront because that seemed like the only route which was possible to walk along (the other routes were so congested with people, it might take an hour to get out of the crowd). Eventually, we arrived at harbourfront and chilled around the area for a bit. A friend of ours by the name of Raj got left behind in the crowd and they decided to meet him at Chinatown and have some drinks. Yep, being an 18 year old now, I wonder why must the legal age to drink alcohol be 19 and not 18? Oh well. Despite missing the alcohol feast with them, I sticked around in harbourfront for a little while and met up with Deepa. We walked around harbourfront in circles for about three times, then headed for Eaton Centre to see whether the place was open to chill around. Unfortunately, we were let down. So, we kept walking around downtown and occasionally, walked along the same road again. By 2am, we met up with Selim and my bro and continued the journey around downtown. If I recalled correctly, we kept walking till 6am! Yep, spending the New Year's by walking along the somewhat empty Toronto streets was pretty cool.

O.o, looks like I wrote a bit too much. Well, in short, 2011 was quite a significant chapter in my life, or at least, a little more significant than the previous years. I've finally completed the first semester of first year university and made some pretty awesome friends. Now, I'm sure I didn't regret my decision of going into UofT. I don't really have any New Year resolutions but I believe we should all live life like there's no tomorrow and don't make resolutions that you're not confident on keeping. Do not cling to the past nor think too much about the future. Live the present like it's the last gift you'd ever be blessed with. Happy New Year 2012 everyone and have a wonderful and awesome year ahead! =)